Dear John,
How much is she paying you? No, seriously.
Whatever it is, we'll double it. Me and my haphazard posse, that's who.
How did I know? Come on, John, there's no other possible reason you're still in the race. You know that I know that you know you won't win the nomination.
Your backdoor philandering (no that isn't a gay joke) has gone too far for a Vice Presidential candidate. (Besides, we all know what your being attached to a ticket does to a campaign.) But if you get out now and endorse you-know-who-you-should, maybe we can swing Secretary of State or Labor or something.
We'll put in a good word for you.
Yours,
Let's Get Paul
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